Hey you…not you…the other you? Talk of getting to know or embracing your inner selves used to leave me wanting to stick my fingers down my throat (judgy me coming out perhaps?) but this is one of the core Project Awesome Life Tools in learning to have an awesome life. So breathe deeply and let’s take a closer look at those inner voices….I promise it will be worth it... So what is the inner voice? Typically your inner voice will be your own voice (although not always). It speaks to you in your head– your thoughts speaking out aloud to yourself– it may speak positively, negatively, nicely or horribly – for some its every now and then for most it is an ongoing ‘chitter chatter’ in your head (I’m an ongoing ‘chitter chatter’ type). Sometimes this ‘chitter chatter’ is inane and not hugely interesting - a bit like watching an episode of the Kardashians - background noise, holding little weight and not hugely influential to the way we live….But our inner voice often takes on a more imposing role, demanding we listen or going on so much that it’s hard to ignore. We are so used to hearing these inner voices that we don’t even realise what they are. We think they are just ‘us’, ourselves talking to ourselves and that they speak the truth – after all they are in our heads and so must be ‘ourselves’ and they must be speaking the truth. Why would we lie to ourselves? But the truth is these voices have been with us for so long we can’t differentiate between truth and lies, fact and fiction. Being aware of my inner voices has been one of the biggest parts of my learnings and is a great place to start in learning about Mindfulness and NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming). Start by listening to your inner voice – notice when it pops up (its more often than you think) and ask yourself a few questions: What is the tone of the voice? What are they saying? Is it critical? Is it pushy? Does the voice give advice? If so what does it say? How does it make you feel when it pipes up? What does your body do when that voice speaks? Do you have different voices that arise in different situations, ie critical voice telling you are not good enough when you are at work, and a victim voice with your partner? Notice the differences, if you can, note them down and come up with a list of your inner voices and how they talk to you. At this stage you do not need to do anything more than be aware of them and notice what they are saying and how it makes you feel. If you can start doing that over the coming few days you will begin to notice the power of them reducing. Here are some of mine: Task Master Me – Oooh I do love to hang around with the ole taskmaster in my head, she normally moans if I am trying to rest and refers to me as lazy. She pushes me to take action ALL OF THE TIME. She is my list maker. Sometimes we get on great as she pushes me to do things and helps me keep on top of things but she often goes too far and drives me to take on more, do more and be more to everyone and everything. After a stint with her I normally end up with; Perfect Me – is one I’m pretty close to, and one I find most hard to recognise as she hides herself under my beliefs. For example, I have a belief from childhood that you should always do your best, work hard, that good behaviour and high standards are to be met and kept. Now this isn’t overly damaging in itself but, when ‘perfect me’ steps in to give her two pennies worth, telling me that things aren’t quite right, or its not quite ready, or its not 100%, it leads to procrastination, hesitation and inactivity! When she is around I tend to hold my head up and profess righteously that its not the right time/place/situation/feeling etc, etc. ALL of this takes me further away from my version of an awesome life! So I have learnt what ‘perfect me’ is, and although its tough to break habits of a lifetime, the more I do it the easier it becomes. Bitchy Me – ‘Bitchy me’ kicks in when I am usually tired or rushing – she is the voice that comments on others and usually in a non-positive way. Usually my head cocks to the side and my lips sneer a little or my head gives a little shake as I judge and comment with abandonment. Bitchy me can sometimes seem like fun (look at THAT! Ha ha) but when she turns on me its like been thrown into a ditch and kicked repeatedly. ‘You look like shit’; ‘You can’t carry that off’, ‘Who do you think you are?’. I have become pretty good at managing the outward bitchy me, the attitudes of mindful living have taught me that, but the inner one isn’t as easy to deal with, it’s an ongoing thing. Guilty Me – Guilt comes in many guises and believe me I have wallowed like a pig in shit in most of them. Guilt beats me up, she sucks me in and chews me up and very often doesn’t spit me out until I am a quivering wreck. Guilt is sneaky and makes me believe that I SHOULD feel guilty about the things I feel guilty about and that if didn’t feel guilty then I’m not worthy of the title of human. She is a fecker and I had a real problem with her a few years back. Now I know what she is there for it’s a lot easier to understand and I can sometimes even be pretty welcoming to Guilt, as she often gives me some insight I need (although other times I do just tell her to feck off!) Now at the risk of sounding like a loon these are just a few of the voices in my head (there are more!?) but the key isn’t who, what, where and how many ‘voices’ you have its about BEING AWARE of them and being able to stand back and view them as they are….thoughts, NOT FACT! Join my Facebook Community here: https://www.facebook.com/projectawesomelife